what is initiation?

I remember my first class with Isha Foundation- Inner Engineering, July 30, 2009 in LA, Catch Light Studio. It was like yesterday, I remembered every details. It was a 7 day session, the first 6 days I was as lost as I can be, my teacher went thru different subject everyday, trying to give us a sense of what this engineering is about. I had several hot discussions with the teacher, who looked like half of my age, what could she possibly know that I don't? apparently, we see things very differently.

Should I give up and stop wasting my time I wondered? I had to drive 4 hours everyday to attend the class, which was a 3 hours session every night. I was physically exhausted by the end of the week, but something was drawing me there, not knowing this long driving every day had become my pilgrimage for truth.

Then came the last day, nobody said anything, I did not know what to expect. We sat as we normally would in the session, and the process started, now I know it is called initiation. My eyes were closed, but some process was going on, as if Sadhguru was physically there, I can sense His foot steps, His presence. My tears was flowing like crazy, my body reverberating heavily. It was such a beautiful experience which I have never felt before. I had no sense of time, I did not want that to stop, yet my legs and back were killing me because I am not used to sitting on the floor.

By the time it was over, I felt like a rock had been crushed within me, my tummy was turned inside out. I so wanted that experience to happen again, I don't know how to explain it, but I want more. This teacher was very touched by what happened, she told me I now have Sadhguru's life within me, whatever that means. This "guru" or "Sadhguru" whatever you called him has given me a new beginning.

"I have initiated more people that I have not seen, then people that I have seen"- Sadhguru