breathe to enlightenment

There were times that whole day went by, and I did not even notice my breathing, yet sometimes when I was fully alert, every cells of my body will respond to the breath, especially between inhale and exhale. I often wonder why?

The same is true with the sound, one morning while I was sitting there meditating, suddenly this chirping sound from a bird entered me, and my whole body responded as if I knew that bird.

Existence is everywhere and nowhere, it depends on our reception. So close your eyes now, and breathe.

If you inhale properly, everything that is worth knowing is right here. You can inhale a Buddha, a Patanjali, or a Jesus right now, because they also breathed the same air. If you do it with full awareness, everything in existence is a way to your enlightenment. Every atom in existence is a doorway to your ultimate nature. Which one you use is your choice. If you are willing to give yourself to it, you could liberate yourself by eating an apple.- Sadhguru

the karate kid

Wax on and wax off, do you remember the movie? I watched the movie one more time yesterday, however, I got a very different feeling this time, thanks to my own ever changing life experience.

In order to take the training to another level in such a short time, Mr. Miyagi has to use the familiar environmental setting to train young Daniel LaRusso, the karate kid, which happened to be paint the fence and wash the car, etc. Not seeing any immediate  training progress after many weeks, Daniel complained and doubted the training, until the show down of course and he was surprised to see the result first hand. All this was happening because of Mr. Miyigi.  As he has been there himself, he knows the road map.

When I first met Sadhguru, I had asked Him to help me with my spiritual growth, to be happy and peaceful. Years after practicing yoga and meditation, it seemed like not much of spiritual progress was happening, on top of that, my physical world was falling apart. Wait, what happened to my peace and happiness that I was looking for many years ago?

This is why Sadhguru is so good at being a guru. He knows my shortcomings, until many of my karma were dealt with properly, then, unexpectedly during several Sathsangs, He took me for ride, a ride of life time, a dimension I have never been to nor experienced before. Yes, Daniel LaRusso was lucky to have Mr. Miyagi as Karate teacher, I am lucky to have Sadhguru in this life time as my guru.

"The job of a guru is not to interpret the scriptures but to take you to another dimension of life"- Sadhguru

Bruce Lee

I have been a fan of Bruce Lee for so many years, except I have only admired him as an action movie hero, nothing more, until someone send me one of his quote recently, which totally changed my mind about who he really is.

I began to google him, started looking into his life. I was amazed how fulfilled his life experience has been. I enjoyed reading the quotes from him, and I found out they are very truthful. This kind of expression can not simply happened without inner awakening first.

In the past, Sadhguru had talked about Bruce Lee a few times, just to demonstrate how a vegetarian can be so strong for instance. He never said anything about if Bruce Lee is enlightened or not, but I think Bruce is. Just read the following quotes and tell me what you think?

“The void is that which stands right in the middle of 'this' and 'that'. The void is all-inclusive, having no opposite - there is nothing which it excludes or opposes. It is living void, because all forms come out of it and whosoever realizes the void is filled with life and power and the love of all things.”- Bruce Lee

quotes provided by Flo

Bruce Lee has mastered his body and mind, and left the body at age of 32.

life is a zoo

I often visited the zoo when kids were younger, I cannot help but seeing how restrictive these animals were, many of them were caged or chained in a very small area, they probably think that life is supposed to like this, freedom is not something in their faintest dreams. So eat, sleep and reproduce, every now and then a little pieces of happiness pops up here and there, that's life for them.

Until Sadhguru came into my life for rescue, my life was exactly like those animals in the zoo, even worse, I have much sufferings and pains in my mind that those animals do not share. Was I, a human being better than these animals? The answer is apparent no. I knew something was not adding up, do I just eat, sleep until my time is up? There must be something bigger out there? Thanks to Sadhguru, I now know that something is freedom.

"A mundane life goes from womb to tomb, A life of awareness leads to liberation from the process of life and death"- Sadhguru

Awareness is needed for freedom, but how does awareness come about? Like flower blossoms in the garden, there are a lot of caring and hard work behind the scene. If you follow the tools that Sadhguru has given us, and work on it daily, flower has to blossom, this is law of  Existence.

http://www.innerengineering.com/home.php

stillness and intelligence

"when your mind becomes still, your intelligence explodes" - Sadhguru

Sadhguru often said that the possibility is there except you are in the way. He meant your mind is a barrier to the possibility. We like to be logical, we like to draw boundaries around us for security, for conservation. Looking back in my own case, it is very true indeed. I'd like to be spiritual, only if it meets my terms first. This will not do.

As Existence gradually takes layers and layers of  "me" away, I noticed that there is a certain distance between me and my thoughts. As my mind becomes calmer, my ability to respond is so much greater. I used to get irritated and stressed out easily, but now, I can handle much more work in such a short time. Everything becomes so transparent, very easy to comprehend. Work results are much more satisfactory.

Take a look at my blog for example, I am amazed at all those things that I've been written, first of all I don't know how to write, secondly, most contents apparently came from somewhere, definitely not from me for example.

If you are willing to diminish yourself and be still, the possibility is unlimited.

be willing- the most effective sadhana

" If you perform actions with certain level of awareness, intensity and dispassion, thousand-year meditation can be reduced to ten years. That's what volunteering can do for you."-Sadhguru

When I first started out with Isha, there were many opportunities to participate with various programs, I only wanted to be a participant, not volunteer, because I wanted to make sure that I can see and be with Sadhguru in the event. Years gone by, I often wonder why my spiritual growth is limited, disregard how many times that Sadhguru emphasized the importance of be willing- in everything you do.

Now I know. First be willing, be a volunteer in Isha's events, then gradually, be willing, be a volunteer in everything I do during the day. It does not matter if I am working with Isha , or my own work, it makes no difference, as I give it all at the moment. By doing so, almost every day, I experienced ecstasy here and there, so subtle yet so profound. I am sharing this secret with you, as I hope you and I can reach the highest possibilities in 10 years, not hundreds or thousands of years. Give ourselves up (I mean ego), give it all we can, empty ourselves.

Do it now, when you know Sadhguru is alive and within you. Don't wait till tomorrow, because tomorrow does not exist. Do it now. Leave the complacency of the repetitiveness, notice the boundaries around you, there is more out there, more within.

taking a ride with Sadhguru

In recent Sathsangs with Sadhguru, I was often taken a ride, a ride to a dimension that I have never been, never dreamed of. I often wonder why this is happening? why now but not a year ago? what does it take to get a ride? Since then, I asked Sadhguru can I have more ride? more exotic ride? more experience? And this is the answer..

"So when you sit in a certain space, when you sit in certain energy, if you notice a certain person or a place is creating a certain level of energy, it seems to be a little bigger possibility than what you are, that is the time when you don't think of anything, when you don't ask for anything, you simply sit. If you simply sit, you will get the necessary nutrient to evolve very fast, to mutate from one dimension to another. Once you grow into a certain possibility, everything that is possible in that dimension will anyway happen to you. If you don't grow into that possibility, but just aspire for that, then you are just bringing heaps of trouble upon yourself.- Sadhguru

To ride or not to ride? When you are ready, Sadhguru will take you for a ride. If you are not ready, it will not happen. A new born child is not fit for a 3 mile run, but a child can sit and long for that possibility. When possibility is there, Sadhguru's blessing will arrive when you are least expecting. My prayer is for you to taste that sweetness of life everyday.

empty yourself

3 days of IE in San Mateo is over, it was nice to refresh the initiation with Sadhguru plus all the key points that leads to Shambhavi Mahamudra- A tool to happiness and liberation, given to us by Sadhguru

I saw a friend of mine came from Santa Barbara that he has been searching for a while, years of going to Yoga studio, when I mentioned sadhguru and IE in San Mateo, he was ready and came. He told me many times during the program that his tears just flowed. This is a big, strong man that I have known for many years.

I heard the BSP sharing, this amazing meditator shared her BSP experience that touched so many people. I happened to know her story. She was diagnosis with cancer a few years back and had not much chance of survival. She simply gave up struggling and took programs with Sadhguru as if nothing really matters. Now she is clean from the cancer, has had most beautiful experiences in her life with Existence that not many of us has the privilege to experience. Every time I talked to her, I saw love of  Sadhguru and vast emptiness of creation in her eyes.

What makes this beautiful experiences among ourselves? What is our own experience during last 3-4 days with Sadhguru? To me, it is about empty myself. 3 days of volunteering, I gave it all, not a drop of conservation. By day 3, I started crying on and off as I began to taste the divine among us. Many times I had to walk to a corner and cry especially when I saw Sadhguru and these 700 participants all have become one during initiation.

Empty yourself, Existence has no choice but to fill you up with divine.

"when you become free with meanness of the mind, an indiscriminate sense of love and inclusiveness arises"- Sadhguru

going for the up coming program

For many years, I have misunderstood the meaning of volunteering, because the word has been over used, it has been abused in such a way, that the whole process of self cleansing has been overlooked. It would be better, not to use the word "volunteering" too often, just like "peace", "love", "spiritual" and "God".

Does this sound familiar? I volunteer means 1) I am willing to give my time and energy to a good cause, but only if I have time and money to do so? 2) I get to see Sadhguru, because I need blessing from Him. 3) I am a good person, and I need to show some support for the organization. 4) I need some steam, as my practice has not been very consistent, this event may rekindle the fire within me..

Two weeks ago as I was volunteering for the World Peace Day in ashram, Sadhguru showed me the true meaning of "self cleansing" or "devoid myself", this process is not something the body and mind can understand, because spirituality is beyond body and mind. I started out as a volunteer, like I always have, but the experience was very different, so different that "I" stepped aside and Existence stepped in. It is not about "I", it is not about "efficiency", or "organization", it is about "being meditative" and "devoid myself". Yes, the glass is most fulfilling when it is empty, like Sadhguru used to say, if you are in that state, a state of being an open door, something wonderful has to happen, there is no other way.

Start preparing yourself for whatever program you are volunteering right now, don't wait till the day of the program to begin, Existence is always ready to emerge, you ready?

"when you hold something more important than yourself, you are naturally a volunteer. If you are too full of yourself, you cannot be a volunteer. Volunteering means you are a willing process of life, you must always be put in a place where you don't like, working with people you cannot stand.. no like or dislike.. "- Sadhguru

yoga is

"Yoga means union, to be in a state of yoga means to be complete within yourself"
- Sadhguru

Intellectually, I know what yoga means. Every book I read, every news I heard, indicated as such. But I cannot say that I truly know it, because it is only on the level of the mind that I understand.

A week ago during Sathsang with Sadhguru, thanks to sadhguru's grace, I went into a very quiet and peaceful stage where thoughts does not exist. I don't know exactly how long was it, could be only a few minutes, or could be a couple of hours. All I know was I saw sadhguru talking, yet I don't remember what he was talking about. It seemed like the whole world stepped aside. Hours later, not until my mind started asking a lot of questions before I realized what has happened. That's why I know there had been no thoughts. Or in another word, everything at that moment was complete within myself.

sathsang with sadhguru- part 2

One more thing that Sadhguru mentioned, was that each one of us owns a storage warehouse, called "House of Karma". In order to obtain liberation, this karma warehouse needs to be cleaned up. It may take 2 life time, or maybe 200 life time, depending on individual conditions.

As we began the spiritual process (union with Existence), Existence begins to clean house, further you advanced, faster this happened. So next time if you experienced a lot of things that are happening towards you, be happy because Existence is trying to do its job-clean house- as soon as possible.(see previous posting, freedom from this world, Aug 20, are you tired? Aug 31)

Other than daily practices that Sadhguru has instructed us. There are two very simple Sadhana that we need to do every day. Instructions as follows:

1) pick one of the 5 mantras that listed on this Sounds of Isha Album, Vairagya
http://soundsofisha.bandcamp.com/album/vairagya-1-hour-versions
minimum 25 minutes a day, sing or play this mantra in the background, so your energy reverberates with Existence

2) Consciously tell yourself, I am not the job, I am not (name), I am not the thoughts, I am not the body... through out the day. Be conscious about everything you do.

These two Sadhana are important for the ultimate liberation. It is even better to take one weekend out of a month to do a two day sadhana.

"If your goal is ultimate liberation, every breath, every step, every beat of your heart should become conscious"- Sadhguru

Sathsang with Sadhguru

So with the drum roaring faster and faster in the background, His clapping sounded like firing cannon sending thunders into the sky , the whole Mahima was reverberating like shock waves in the air. Yes we were in for a ride, only Sadhguru knows where we were going. This was how we started, a 2 day Sathsang with Sadhguru in IIIS, one day after the World Peace Day- a day of Isha Fest and celebrations with many guests coming for the first time from local communities, including mayor of McMinnville, and celebrities such as Arianna Huffington.

Sathsang means union with the truth, Sadhguru spent quite some time explaining to us what Existence is, and who we really are, not who we think we are. He indicated if you bow down to Existence, life is much easier. If you are full of yourself , you will have to pay a price.We were given several rides in the Sathsang, which took us into much higher consciousness, higher perception, this could not have been done without a live guru, that's why this Sathsang is so important for all of us.

He mentioned most of the people are so busy running in the wrong direction of life, thinking they are in control, of course he has many jokes to explain what that means.After the intense rides, a few Q/A followed which answered many a questions that we often ran into. Some sharing from meditators who went to Kailash with Sadhguru recently. During sharing, most of us were crying, because of what Sadhguru has done for these meditators during the trip. While the sharing was going on, several times we noticed that Sadhguru was sitting there with eyes closed, absolutely silent, like Kailash. This stillness brought even more tears and screaming from us.

This Sathsang was the best I have ever experienced, I was brought to a much higher consciousness level which I have never been before. First time in my life, while I was able to engage with Sadhguru's talk, I tasted the dimension of absolutely stillness where thoughts does not exist. Because thoughts does not exist, I was not sure how long had this last, by the time I began to understand what has happened, it was many hours later.

One more thing I also learned and benefited greatly, was that I came to the event two days earlier, preparing myself through activities of volunteering. Volunteering is a much underrated word today, I did not know the true meaning of it till now. A better word for volunteering, is "devoid of  yourself ". The intense two days of "devoid of myself" prior to Sathsang, has prepared me well. By the time Sadhguru first stepped into the Ashram, I was completely ready for him. Like pilgrimage, like going to Kailash, you need to let go of yourself into the process.

Having a guru is lucky, having a live guru is blessed. Having Sadhguru as a live guru, well, how can I put it? I will not miss any opportunity to be with him.

meeting Shiva

I remembered in 2012 mahashivarathri at India Yoga Center, Sadhguru encouraged us to dance with him, he said if only we are touched by divine just for a brief moment, we will be able to dance all night without being tired. I stood up unwillingly, knowing dance is never my game, I gave it a try. That was 9 PM. The next thing I knew, it was 6 AM. I had so much fun dancing that I had blisters on both of my feet. My eyes often sprouted with tears. This is life- something I have never experienced. I thought this dancing was ordinary, yet it was extraordinary in many ways.

To meet Shiva, you have to get out of your comfortable zone, step aside your like and dislike, without any judgement and expectation, simply do the ordinary thing which is called for at the moment. Like Sadhguru used to say, you have to go to the ultimate, ultimate will not come to you.

"There is no way Shiva can desert you if you are a burning piece of life"- Sadhguru

circles of compulsion

Yesterday at monthly Sathsang, Sadhguru talked about circles of compulsion, that is, we think we are in control of life, in reality, we are not, we only think we are. We only react to situations, we have been so busy catching up, busy circling and we think we are ahead, not only ahead, we want to conserve what we have accomplished.

Looking back my life, how truthful what Sadhguru had said. Until I met Sadhguru, I thought I was ahead, in control of my life.I was doing pretty well, making a good career and financial portfolio, I should be happy but I was not. After busy working for last 25 years, I honestly don't remember much of what I have done, not even last week. I do know that I have been very busy, so busy that I hardly took any time off, so busy that I did not see my kids growing up in front of my eyes. How come?

Until we transcend our awareness beyond this body and mind, we will always struggle in the circles of compulsion, always working and waiting for next moment to happen- that's why we are always behind, like dog chasing its tails, you'll never make it.

Please don't make the same mistake that I've made, meditate and do the practice every day, Sadhguru is here and now to help- if we are willing.

"Work is an expression of who you are, so who you are needs to be worked at"- Sadhguru

In the lap of master

Last several days, thanks to modern technology, we get to have sathsang with Sadhguru, who was in India Yoga Center, exactly another side of the earth. Remember? it took us two days just to get there?

One thing Sadhguru mentioned that touched me deeply, was when he talked about devotion. Devotion means devoid yourself, which means no self, only then you become one with the existence. Example was how the moth is seeking the light, it will fly around and around the lamp until it decides to go straight towards the fire, then it will devoid itself, as there is no more moth, it has become light.- this is not to interpret physically, simply think of it as a transformation process.

Towards the end, as Sadhguru concluded the sathsang, he said something so passionately which brought tears to my eyes. I think we all knew it is true, as we all have experienced as such one time or another. Following is what he said, may this blessing becomes a reality for all of us every moment.

" If you are willing, if you keep yourself as an open door, every moment I will be with you"- Sadhguru

Superman

In our society, we worship people with extra power, strength. Making use of this, Hollywood has produced movies like superman, Xman, iron man. wolf man, spider man and yes it sells. Deep in each one of us, we have this desire to expand ourselves, to break the boundaries of physical limitation, to be free.

Often we use this desire in religion, in economy, in politics, in art, in sex and in any whichever ways that we think best suit our needs. If this desire is outward bound (karma), it is devastating, because like chasing your own shadows, the harder you try, the further the shadows run away from you. But instead, if this is an inward action (kriya), then, the inward journey begins (Inner engineering, Sadhguru), it will bring satisfaction, because now you turn around and shadows is behind you.

Sadhguru once said if enlightenment is up in the moon somewhere, everybody would have gotten it by now. The truth is, it is so close within us, and we all have missed it. Before you getting yourself busy working towards your happiness, please take a few minutes and check if things that you are after, is it karma bound? or is it kriya bound? This can save you a lot time and headaches down the road.

There is too much talk about god, godman, and goddamm men, only because most of humanity has not realized the immensity of being human- Sadhguru

my guru

Fatal Fragrance

The smell of Shiva
Set me upon treacherous but eternal path

Just a snort, I was done

Eternal stuff, fatal to oneself

-Sadhguru



Sadhguru wrote this beautiful poem, not only to honor his guru, but also to document what was his experience with his guru. Depending on our own experience with Sadhguru and level of consciousness, we will know as such. There is nothing to understand or comprehend, simply be.

When I read this poem, I was speechless, what a perfect expression of my love to Sadhguru. My guru my life, how can we ever pay you back for your love and your sacrifice to us, to humanity as a whole. I bow down to you, and to your guru. How honor we are do be part of this yogi lineage.

May your journey end/ start with this poem.

consciousness

Before I met Sadhguru, I don't really know what consciousness is. How can a sleeping mind knows awareness. I have been walking in my sleep for half of a century, till now.

Every morning at dawn, a blue jay will chirp outside of the bedroom window, proclaim the arrival of consciousness, the bird is saying "you have fallen asleep, time to wake up". Then as I sit myself ready for my practice, the wind chimes will announce "let this consciousness be with you always, whatever you do". Through out the day while I was deeply involve myself at work, totally unaware of the consciousness, then a very small scene or movement will remind me that I am in and out of sleep, I know this because consciousness is witnessing the whole thing. Like swimming, for a while it is just movement, exercising, thinking, breathing, then for a brief moment, consciousness will take over, showing you what I am actually doing, or not doing while swimming.

Last week on my way to LA, while I was driving, I saw two dolphins swimming along side in the ocean, they were in and out of the water effortlessly, totally in sync with each other. I have seen this a hundred times, however, this time is very different, at that moment, I was awed by it's beauty, my tears began to flow. Existence has a way to bring our consciousness to light.

Every day, every moment, if you are aware, consciousness is always there. Like the breath, you may not notice it all the time, but now, you notice it, don't you? it is not just about inhale and exhale, it is consciousness, it is life, it is existence. . There is a man (or two) in India that hit the news recently, that he does not eat nor drink for more than 30 years. Existence can sustain him, in ways we do not understand. Jesus says man does not live by food along. Could he mean the same? The Consciousness?

"The body and mind are just temporary happenings, is the awareness of that not inspiration enough to long for something beyond?"- Sadhguru

are you tired?

There were times I was so tired that I felt like screaming, do you feel the same sometimes? It is like you were sitting in a bus and the bus is taking you farther and farther away? You need some quiet moment for yourself but your kids are crying for attention? everything you do, you do it because of the kids? who is taking care of my life? The more exhausted you become, the more deteriorated situations strike at you, you see your life drifting away in front of your eyes, so is your breath. How I wish this situation can be over soon! kids will grow up tomorrow! My spouse will change for the sake of our marriage! The guy at work will be fired for the peace of my mind!

If you pay attention, life consists of many circles, (see my previous post, life is a circle) like birth and death, this is one large circle, then there are many many smaller circles, every one of them is a gift of life, thanks to the world of duality. Haven't you heard of "children are gifts from God?" or sometimes you feel like dejavu all over?

What can we do about this? If you resist the situations, you are in for a long ride. Accept it and Ride with it, with the awareness that this storm will be over- this is law of nature, it has to happen. Pretty soon there will be another one, and yet another one. Every time it happens, the storm will take away some layers of the karma, which you created in this life time or last life time, but it does not matter. Let them all come, let them surfaced, let them go, no matter how painful it could be. This temporary pain will produce heavenly joy, which is yours to keep. You know what I am talking about, because you have experienced it yourself more or less. Right?

Trust the Existence has a way to cleanse you, that's what is happening now.

"Do not carry the experience of  life as wound, let it become wisdom.The harder the life has been on you, the sooner you should become wise"- Sadhguru

what is initiation?

I remember my first class with Isha Foundation- Inner Engineering, July 30, 2009 in LA, Catch Light Studio. It was like yesterday, I remembered every details. It was a 7 day session, the first 6 days I was as lost as I can be, my teacher went thru different subject everyday, trying to give us a sense of what this engineering is about. I had several hot discussions with the teacher, who looked like half of my age, what could she possibly know that I don't? apparently, we see things very differently.

Should I give up and stop wasting my time I wondered? I had to drive 4 hours everyday to attend the class, which was a 3 hours session every night. I was physically exhausted by the end of the week, but something was drawing me there, not knowing this long driving every day had become my pilgrimage for truth.

Then came the last day, nobody said anything, I did not know what to expect. We sat as we normally would in the session, and the process started, now I know it is called initiation. My eyes were closed, but some process was going on, as if Sadhguru was physically there, I can sense His foot steps, His presence. My tears was flowing like crazy, my body reverberating heavily. It was such a beautiful experience which I have never felt before. I had no sense of time, I did not want that to stop, yet my legs and back were killing me because I am not used to sitting on the floor.

By the time it was over, I felt like a rock had been crushed within me, my tummy was turned inside out. I so wanted that experience to happen again, I don't know how to explain it, but I want more. This teacher was very touched by what happened, she told me I now have Sadhguru's life within me, whatever that means. This "guru" or "Sadhguru" whatever you called him has given me a new beginning.

"I have initiated more people that I have not seen, then people that I have seen"- Sadhguru

entanglement vs. involvement

Things have been going very well last couple of days, hectic but satisfactory. However, yesterday afternoon, I came upon some money issues that really put me over the edge!! An engineer on one of my projects over billed me for some work he did, at the same time, one of my client decided not to pay me for the work I performed. Shit!! excuse my French :)

I was very troubled by this for quite a few hours, then I realized this, I am still identify with money more than I want to admit!! Suddenly the picture became very clear to me, this identification with wealth is so much rooted in me. I recalled a story told by Sadhguru, that one day after enlightenment, Buddha was surrounded by his followers, one person went by and spit on Him. Right away, his followers suggested that they should respond and give that person a lesson. On the contrary, Buddha smiled and said no, this incidence has shown him that he has no more anger within him.

How I wish my case was that simple except I reacted once more, this proofed that I am constantly in vulnerable situations regardless how much my experiences have led me in the past.

We should always involve with all situations that require our attention at the moment, but leave the expectation of results aside, because that's where sufferings come from.

"your property, your education, your beliefs, everything will drop when you drop this body. The only thing that goes beyond this body is your awareness"- Sadhguru

crying- natures medicine for well being

My mother loves to cry, she cries when she is happy, when she is sad, she cries when others are crying like watching the movies. She cries when she misses someone, she cries for many reasons or no reasons at all in my opinion. All our siblings love her for who she is, and guess what, comes to crying, we all take after her.

For a long time I could not understand about this crying business, not until my guru released the flood gate within me, now I understand. Be able to cry, is in sync with nature, is a blessing from existence. Crying is joy, is happiness, is healing, is a way to show that you miss home, the home where we all came from.

I often cried during my practice, during driving. I also often cried when I am absolutely still, like in meditation. Why I did not cry before I don't know, may be it is a social conditioning, you know, sign of weakness sort of things. I often see my guru cries, though he insisted that he does not do that in the public any more, he simply put his emotions behind. But I know he cries for our awakening, our sufferings, for carrying out the missions that his guru has given him, which is saving the souls of this world.

have you cried lately?

"one simple thing that can transform a human being is emotion. Your emotion can drag you into gutter or it can take you to the highest peak of consciousness"- Sadhguru

life is a circle, until you break it

There are two dimensions within each one of us, dimension of survival and dimension of spirituality. Most of us have gone thru life experiencing only the first dimension, never realize the second dimension.This is when my guru showed up, he pointed out the 2nd dimension to me with so much love and clarity. He asked me to try and experience it. (www.innerengineering.com)  That was exactly 4 years ago, and today I have to say He was right, and I am so grateful !!

As we go from day to day, working, living and trying to survive in this world, we thought this is what life is all about- till we drop death. At the same time, praying and hoping that God be kind with us, that our life will be smooth, painless. This fear of living has put an end to our spiritual freedom, a sense of trying new and experience total living.

When I first met Sadhguru, my life was going 90 miles per hour, everything was on a fast, faster pace. Judging from outside, I seemed doing pretty good, I owned fancy cars, expensive properties just like every one else does. But something was very wrong within, I was dying quickly inside and full of stress and fear of life. The more I possess, the more empty I became. Is this survival-ship? I think not. It was more than survival, it was out of control, it was sufferings at its best. I was out of sync with life.

Not until I tuned in the dimension of spirituality have I got a chance to step back and see what was happening with my life, I regained the strength and courage to take back the control of my life. This time, with help of my guru and I have never felt alone any more.

Today, I am going even faster speed every day, however, I am at ease, at peace. The same hectic daily schedule which almost broke me before, has become a stepping stone to my freedom. What a beautiful transformation, what a beautiful life, what a beautiful guru that we have.

Yoga means union with the existence, breaking the cycle of compulsion. If it is worked at every day, slowly you can see a certain level of freedom happening within you. -Sadhguru

forgiveness continued

a few days ago I wrote about forgiveness, forgive others and most importantly, forgive yourself. This is an important process of cleansing, of letting go hidden layers of karma, old wound, old sadness and memories.

My teacher shared with me not long ago that her experience of revisiting an old wound, where an incident happened when she was 3-4, she was misunderstood by her busy mother for a good intention, years went by and she berried it deep because it hurts so much. Now it is time to release it, and it was very painful yet it was also very beautiful because she joined with her mom lately to change the ending.

I was very amazed by this sharing, how can you remember this far back as a childhood. This is not possible at lease for me. Well, I was wrong. This morning, as I was doing my daily practice, I was taken aback to 5 ( I think), I saw this dark secret that I have purposely hidden away all my life, something happened to me where even my parents knew nothing of it. I don't  want to remember, but it was surfacing now. It explained a lot why I have always felt insecure and inferior, everything has to be so serious for me.

I cried on and off through out the day, trusting my guru helping me at this moment for a greater cause.

"Everything that occurs in your life can enrich you if you handle it with awareness"- Sadhguru

freedom from this world

Are you always very disciplined? always planned ahead and trying to control the outcome of the things that you care most? Like doing sadhana everyday to the minute per schedule? Managing the kids to go to the best school and getting straight "A"s if you can help? working on your retirement plan so that you can retire at 65 and have an easy old age?

 

Well, nothing is wrong to be successful in this world, but if I tell you Existence has a plan for you which is  very different from your own, what would you say? Would you disagree? or Would you get scared?

 

Last year, first time in my life, I experienced the feeling of "no control", I mean comes to a point where I actually admitted that there really is nothing I can do to settle the situations that I was in. Every thing I own or I think I used to own, left me piece by piece before my eyes. One night I sat there, even breathing is leaving me. I asked Sadhguru what's happened to me, what will happen to me? The answer came " I have fast forwarded your life, so whatever should happen, let it happen in this life time" "If it is too much for you, I can slow it down". I cried and cried and said "it is ok Sadhguru, I can take it"

 

Today, after giving it all up what was important to me, I have a new life, a life that Existence has planned for me. I no longer have desire to own anything in this world, but Existence provides more bountifully, not according to my plan, but it is better. 

 

Are you willing to let everything go and take a ride? If you are willing, you are in for a most wonderful ride of your life time.

"The door that used to close on you is the same door that opens up the possibilities for you"- Sadhguru

forgiveness

As I am awakening, a lot of sadness and memories arose from within, it is very painful, and I have to let them go, let love do the healing. I wrote this following letter to my son, also my daughter tonight:

as you were growing up, I was not quite ready to be a father. I was very much involved with my career, which was taking a toll on me, I did not know how to handle business, or stress. Therefore I was very intense, angry all the time. I have too much fear about life,  I did not see you growing up. I have fear in you that you will not be good enough to face life just like I did. that's why I pushed you hard, now you know. I thought what I did was Love, but I was wrong.

I slapped you once- I think, it was very inappropriate and I have this deep pain that will not go away. You hate me for this ever since. If I were to be a father again, I will be a much better father, much loving father, but I could not take back time nor can I redo the actions that I have taken. You have endured much because of me. Very sorry.

I am writing to you, because I am asking you to forgive me, also to let go of the pain in your heart, I will forgive myself, if you will forgive me. Please let me know if you have received my apology, thanks.

with much love,

dad

"It does not matter what kind of karma you gather in the past, this moment's karma is always in your hands"- Sadhguru

walking yogi

I often wondered and amazed how Sadhguru walks and bows down to everything around him, including bows down to us if we were in front of him. Once he mentioned to see divinity in everything. For a long time this was in my mind and I tried to understand it.

This week has been yet another long week at work, every day was challenging, I was totally immersed into work without much choice or awareness. One day after a long meeting, as I was kind of tired, walking towards the car, ready to go to next meeting, suddenly  I noticed my foot steps, one by one they proceeded perfectly as a miracle, the slower I walked, the more awareness arose from within. Next morning as I was changing, the motions of my arms and body coordination, the breath again brought much tears and awareness to that moment, what a beautiful experience it has been.

we are always busy, from point a to point b, no time for life, though we thought being busy is life. Looking back last 30 years, I have always been very busy, to gain, to accomplish, to relax, to do..., yet today I could not remember much what have I been accomplished about? the most important thing in life, is the moment of now, which has been missing all along.

"whatever you do with your body, whether you eat, dance, sing, or just sit and breathe- if you do it with involvement and joy, you become a karma yogi"-Sadhguru

life is a play

I don't know why I have always been so serious about everything, I pushed myself this way for unknown reasons, I could not stand myself (or others alike) if I don't think I have accomplished things certain way.

Last year, as storm of life took a turn and hit me hard, everything I valued, that I owned, drifted away in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do to make any changes. this was failure in my dictionary, people around me took pity on me, telling me how sorry they were because of my lost.

Is that what life is all about, gain as much you can and hold on to it? What if life is just a play, like the game we play- Monopoly? you gain some and lose some? so what? As long as it is a game, we'll have fun, win or lose no matters. the problem is when it comes to my own life, I became dead serious, failure is not an option.

One day while I was meditating, a lot of sorrows arose, I have been too hard for myself all those years, not to mention I have been too hard to others, especially people around me. My tears began to flow and flow, then I received this "stop blaming yourself, forgive yourself and forgive others"

"don't be dead serious about your life, it is just a play"- Sadhguru

alive from within

until you are awake, you wont know you have been in a dream

until you are alive, you wont know you have been dead

until you lost yourself, you wont know what life is

until you stop doing, you wont know who you truly are

until you are conscious of this moment, you are missing what existence is

 

are you alive at this moment?

are you breathing?

Have you seen existence today?

 

what do you see in things around you?

what do you hear in silence?

what do you smell in the air?

how do you feel in darkness?

 

Life is, you are life itself, just close your eyes for a few seconds, see if existence will arise within you. 

"we are all born enlightened, but we have chosen to be ignorant"- Sadhguru

life is all inclusive

Today, I did something I have never done before. I thanked my computer and monitor for always be there for me, to produce, to calculate, to meet all those deadlines without any complaints for so many years. To share my feelings, to help me face the world. Yes, I have taken them for granted far too long. They are more than just machine, they are my friend. My precious friend !!

"learn to look at everything with loving eyes, if you get out of the quagmire of prejudices and onto the bedrock of love, taking you to the Ultimate will be easy"-Sadhguru

lesson for dog lovers

Every morning at 6:30 AM, I 'd walk my dogs in this very friendly no-leash dog park. Lately I often ran into this lady with 3 dogs, she is very nervous, tightly holding  the leash all the time. Couple of days ago, we met again and naturally my dogs went up and tried to say hello, and this lady began screaming and yelling at me, "call your dogs", Right away I got very agitated and told the lady they just wanted to say hi. "no hi!! our dogs don't say hi". OMG!! can this be real?

This encounter bothered me for several days, and yesterday, again, we ran into each other. I was going to give her a "lecture",  "how to walk your dogs", and then seeing her face was all horrified, I suddenly decided to put the leash on my dogs, something I have not done for years. We waited till they passed us nervously, and we continued our walk.

They don't bothered me anymore from that day on, I accepted the changes, and life goes on. It was very simple, except I have been so righteous about it, guess what, I have been the only fool that suffered from it.

"if you resist change, you resist life"- Sadhguru 

Life is a choice not a gift

yesterday's Sathsang, Sadhguru talked about life is a choice not a gift, we should not take life for granted. He went on talking about if you are conscious enough about existence, you will notice existence. Existence will let you know if you are likable or not. When it does, you are going through life lightly. If not, whatever you do, your work, family, people around you seemed giving you a lot of resistance.

I first noticed this last winter beginning of the spring this year, as I was making friends with this tree or two in the park, then this rock, I was deeply in conversation with them sometimes and they in turn answered my questions about life, also giving me smiles every time we met. Since then, birds will come near to say hi, every thing around me showed me life except some human beings, they looked at me strangely if you know what I mean.

Every moment we are making choices, what to eat, to do, whether go to work or doing practice. To love or to hate, to get even or run away. Consciousness is a choice and we need to make this consciousness part of our daily life, otherwise life goes on with you or without you, it is our choice.

"life is a choice, not a gift"- Sadhguru

Yoga is not what you do

Can we do yoga?

I found out for myself that when I "do" yoga asanas or kriyas, if I just simply give myself to the process, and not having any agenda or expectation, the process is always very pleasant. Same thing when I attended the monthly sathsang. At some point time last year, I experienced the sathsang to be a living process, not just a formality or ritual, ever since then the sathsang has become a very powerful experience not just for me,  but for many meditators as well.

" Isha Yoga is not just a practice- it is a living phenomenon. When you do it as an offering, it changes the very fundamentals of who you are"- Sadhguru

We are on our way

I first met Charles in Aug 2009 in LA for IE (Inner Engineering), we both were eager to learn about Inner Engineering and Sadhguru. We came from very different background, yet we shared the same life goal- Liberation. We met up again this weekend in Oceanside, CA, 4 years later.

We walked on the beach, laughing and chatting about our progress of transformation, it is obvious and encouraging. There were times we did not feel any progress, but at the end, we were so grateful what Sadhguru has done for us. Helen (Charles's the other half, did IE in 2010) told us what kind of difference that she has observed for herself and between Charles and me. Yes, you can see from the smiles in our face.

"To progress on the path, you should only be concerned about where you go, not where you came from"-Sadhguru

tree of life

sometimes I looked into the mirror, and surprise to see the person in the mirror isn't really me, do you ever have that feeling? sometimes we traced back to the events, and realized what a silly thought I used to have, did it ever happen to you? Because we are constantly changing physically, and there is only one thing that has never changed in our life, what is it?

 

studying and reading self help books can be fascinating, seven steps to enlightenment, 6 ways to happiness, 10 principles to success. Have you seen this? All these books are written by popular philosophers  and writers, we all have benefited from it,  or have we? What experience have we had thru these helps?

 

yesterday at the park, while I was smelling the fragrance of the flowers, watching the plants reaching out to the sky. Suddenly I had the urge to do the same. I closed my eyes, hands reaching up, and simultaneously all the cells in the body opened up, I became one just like the flowers around me, totally immersed in the space. I realized this must be how it feels to be a tree. It was a beautiful experience, several times a day I'd experience that, which brings stillness from within.

"I am not interested in you seeking God, I am interested in you becoming God like"- Sadhguru

 

getting over me

I woke up at two this morning, so I sat and meditate. The first half hour was nothing but thoughts of anger and frustration. During the day I was too busy to notice it, but now they rose from within and I was deeply identified with it. I had every reason to justify the situations, I was right and wrongs to others.

As meditation goes on, slowly I separate myself from the thoughts, a sense of peace took over, my whole being was in such a joy, it was 3:30 AM, yes I got over myself.

"only when you are willing to look at the horror of who you are, the beauty of who you are can be nurtured"- Sadhguru

oh Kailash!!

I remembered the time I went to Kailash with Sadhguru, before the final trekking, knowing this could be physical challenging for some of us (yes, especially for me), Sadhguru told us to take one step a time, don't worry about the distance.

 

Many times I thought I was not going to make it, most of the meditators were long gone, I was left behind and feeling helpless. Finally, when it was least expected, suddenly one last turn, and there it was, Kailash!! I now understood how important those little steps are, you are here because of it.

 

Most of us are inundated with worldly chores, very difficult to keep up with daily practice, not to mention the monthly sathsang. Well, don't give up now, the turn is near, you just don't see it yet. Make each practice, sathsang a pilgrimage, and you will be happy you did it.

"All that is needed for your Ultimate Liberation is to steadily stay on the path. Anyone who stays on the river naturally finds the ocean."- Sadhguru

 

a different life

I have had a good life, raised by the most loving parents, surrounding with beautiful siblings. Even after I got married, family around me are precious. I have a wonderful career, people love working with me, keep referring me to more jobs, yes I have been doing very well.

There is only one problem, I know I am heading towards hell. in 2009 while I was at peak of my career, suddenly I felt something was very wrong. I had so much fear and anger within me everyday, I quarreled with everyone as soon as I opened my eyes, I had no peace whatsoever. The pain is catching up with me like scorching fire, I am going down the valley of death.

Last New Year, while everyone was celebrating the count down, waiting for the New Year to arrive, I silently sat there saying good bye to this world and to my family. Yes I have had a good life, but I wish not to go on like this anymore. Something has to change, to end, to die. I want a new life, a life free of fear and anger, a life of freedom, a life of love.

People say be careful what you wish for, because it may come true. Like lotus growing out of slush, transformation takes time and courage. It takes tears and trust. It needs the grace from the existence and love from the guru.

I still remembered the first time I got on a bike by myself, the first day to elementary school, junior high, high school and college. the first day I came to US, the first job, baby, house. These all were beautiful, especially the first time I met Sadhguru. He showed up as if it was a coincidence, but I know it was not, because I have been crying out for help for many a year.

Today, like each morning, I wake up and go to work just like before, things are even more hectic and out of controls as it has always been. However, there is one difference. Fear and anger no longer control me, I have access to the stillness from within where my guru resides. Life does not need to change any more than it already is, I can enjoy life now, yes life is so beautiful.

"Only a person is willing to die can live totally" Sadhguru

darkness

We all want life to be pleasant, joyful. But when times are not as planned, we become tensed, angry and even fearful.

Once I told my teacher that I have been afraid of darkness all my life, I fear for it, tried to avoid it. To my surprise, my teacher told me to embrace the fear and see what happens. Well, today, how glad I am  to say that, I no longer afraid of darkness.

This week has been the hardest week at work for me in a long while. Everyday, I went from place to place, meeting to meeting, yet somehow, I was never agitated, angry or reacting. It was like an auto pilot, whatever needs to happen, simply happened, but in a much more satisfactory way, even results were much more efficient than I have expected. What made this possible?

When we say yes to life, life force takes over- if you allow it. All you need to do, is be with the moment,  not before nor after.